“We are all a little weird, and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”
I think that the happiest couples are also the weirdest ones. In my experience with dating and relationships, if we weren’t acting a little weird, something was wrong. When the talk turned to normal things – on dates, things like the “What do you do for fun? Do you have any brothers and sisters?” routine, where the conversation stayed on that level, or in relationships, the “How was your day?” “Oh, it was fine,” routine, that seemed to be a red flag that the connection wasn’t there or that it was weakening. Every time the staleness would set in like that, I would get a sinking feeling, and sure enough, the other person would tell me that they don’t feel chemistry, or a spark, not long after. I think part of the elusive “spark” that our culture alludes to comes from unpredictability and authenticity. It’s no guarantee. Some of the most fun and spontaneous dates I’ve been on never turned into anything more. But, overall, my best memories from dating involved people who I could have a little mutual weirdness with:
The one who would say “tally ho!” when we were leaving for another place, and I would always respond, “Let us venture forth!” or “Let’s flee the village!” It was fun having someone to flee villages with.
The one who talked me into talked me into going on a skyride despite my intense fear of heights. I was quaking with fear, but I enjoyed seeing the waterfall from up high.
The one who took me to a toy shop where we dropped marbles into a wooden marble run and talked to each other through stuffed giraffes. I love people who can channel their inner child. Actually, I really love people with kind of an ageless quality to them, who have an old soul and a sense of wonder at the same time.
The one from OkCupid who wrote several paragraphs to me about how much he likes the sound of rain, while most people would say something like, “Hey how r you? Interesting profile. Would you like to talk?” It was very refreshing.
It seems like when a date or relationship is going well, we can do or say things that would make most people go, “What the what..?” And when it’s not going well anymore, it somehow reverts back to a place where we say things that could be said or done with anyone else; the connection becomes less specific, and more general.
I am a hopeful romantic, and I hope to someday have that sort of connection with someone, where they can say “Yeah, I get her, and she gets me.” In our society there’s a narrative about being strong and independent and not caring so much about having a relationship. In all honesty, I really do want one. I wouldn’t say that I’m necessarily happy about being single, but I am okay with it. I would rather be single than be in a bad or mediocre relationship. I raise a toast to all you hopeful romantics out there. Rock on with your bad, awesome selves, and happy Mutual Weirdness day!